Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

What do you want to be when you grow up?  I always wanted to help people, but didn't know how, between the death of my brother when I was 10, being sexually assaulted at 19 and other life altering obstacles I did everything in my power to just be what everyone expected of me.  But at 2 months out of high school I lucked out and started a career (not helping people). It paid great, had amazing benefits, so I stayed. Because that's what you do when you grow up. I was still following the path of expectations. This path led to failed relationships where you stay too long because breakups are tough or you love the family, or you just think it's what you need to do.  I was 29, and wondering what the fork was happening with my life. My marriage was ending, I had a friend complete suicide, I was about to turn 30 and I was working a job that had been the source of so much pain and stress because it supported my life and that's what people do when you grow up. I was done being a what and decided I was going to be who I was capable of being. I booked a trip to Thailand to discover who I really was and wrap my head around everything that happened in life.  I went to Thailand met some amazing people and saw a beautiful country. But I still didn't feel like I really did what I needed to figure out who I was. Last minute, I ended up extending my trip by 4 days and on my last night with the group we went out to celebrate, at midnight I turned 30, and the flood gates opened.  The rain came pouring down. Koh San Road flooded and people ran for the bars and restaurants. But for the first time in my life, I wasn't going to let rain stop me from being who I came here to discover. And nothing has ever felt more liberating than the few moments I spent alone dancing in the rain of the (normally) busiest street in Bangkok. When I opened my eyes I saw people joining me on the street and we danced the night away in a flooded street soaking wet. And that is the moment that everything changed. Over the next few days I meditated with Monks, visited temples and discovered who I was.  At the same time back home my mom randomly drove past a property for sale and she had a feeling it was exactly what I was looking for.  I came home and went to see this property. I had goosebumps. I had butterflies. And I know this was what I was looking for. The realtor opened the house with an antique skeleton key (a whole different story). And I bought it on the spot. It's been 3 years and I have renovated my first cottage, drawn architectural drawings for my first studio and built my first business. I built a dream, I had dreamed my whole life. I used to think I could never be who I dreamed of being because I didn't go to school, but I did it because I gave up just doing what I was supposed to do to be an adult and I did what makes me who I am.  "Just because it's done doesn't mean it's what should be done" - Cinderella.  Find out who you are and believe in that person. No matter what path you think you need to follow. Follow the path that turns your what I am into a who I am. 

At the tender age of 10, I was forced to deal with the traumatic loss of my eight-year-old brother. As I look back, 21 years later, I wish I had known a simple set of coping tools – with meditation being the centrepiece – that could have helped me heal. Meditation has been around for thousands of years in many different forms. Some are religious, many are not, yet all practices share the same result – a calmer, more focused, loving, aware, kinder and connected relationship with yourself and those around you. I had anxiety, stress and self-esteem issues due to my family’s traumatic event, but children don’t need trauma to suffer from these mental health conditions. You might have experienced some form of stress or feeling of being overwhelmed in your own childhood and youth, but of course your children will never believe it! There’s no way you could possibly know how they feel – things are different for them! And they are partially right when they give you that comeback – as the world changes, children are dealing with the same issues we grew up with but in a more connected, social world, and that brings with it its own struggles. Always having to be on, available at the ding of a cell phone, judged by how many ‘Likes’ they get on social media, what they look like, and if they are accepted is daily life for our kids. Social media plays a huge role in kids’ lives now, and they no longer have nights and weekends away from their friends and schoolmates to decompress – they go home but remain connected through their devices. That’s why it’s important we adults teach them to take time for themselves to appreciate and love themselves just as they are, as well as how to handle stressful situations, because as we all know stress is something that only increases as we grow up. Natural meditation Children naturally meditate; they just don’t know it. They’re often in that meditative state when they’re aware of everything around them and they just accept things without judgment. Mindfulness also allows them to appreciate things without a value attached to them. How many of you loved playing in a cardboard box as a child? You loved that box because of what your mind created with it, not because of what it was worth. Although children use their imaginations less thanks to parents keeping their schedules full of play dates, organized sports, art and music classes, and technology, it is important we provide them with the free time they need to enter this meditative state. When children play with their food, they pull it, poke it, smell it, bite it – and usually spit it out. By doing this, they are becoming aware and absorbing that food in a totally open and mindful way, without pre-determined beliefs, barriers or biases. They are making a choice based on everything before them. Teaching children to focus on their breathing and meditation process can have long-lasting positive effects, and teaching children to meditate is easier than you think! Meditation preparation If you can set a routine for your child so they can anticipate their daily meditation, kids will start to look forward to this calming, relaxation time. Start with five minutes and increase from there, as your child is ready. At the beginning you may need to do this with your child, as they often learn best from observing. Before you meditate: • Eat a light meal, but don’t do it on a full or empty stomach. • Find a quiet, comfortably warm place with gentle lights. • Get comfortable. Sitting is ideal, but you may lie down or stand. Be cautious lying down at the beginning, this position is conducive to sleep. • Try some gentle yoga moves or stretching before beginning to energize your body. • Find an open and well-ventilated space. • Start with deep, slow and calm breathing. This is essential as deep breathing is a catharsis to the mind. Breath work is also a meditation technique itself. Breathing techniques Breathing techniques are amazing because we don’t actually have to think about it. Breathing happens without thought, and by slowing down our breath, and breathing more deeply, we also slow down our heart rate, calm our nervous system and relax our muscles. This allows us to enter a calmer state of mind. ‘4-7-8’ breathing – This breathing technique is great in high-stress situations where you need to remove your child’s focus from what is upsetting them and return their minds and bodies to a calm state… to get out of the ‘fight or flight’ zone. Counting at the same pace, inhale while you count to four, hold your breath until you get to seven, and exhale when you reach eight. Children should repeat this two or three times, while three to five times is good for adults. Breath of dissolution – Sit comfortably, closing your eyes and relaxing for a few seconds. Allow your breathing to get progressively deeper (normal, deep, deepest), then start breathing progressively shallower (deepest, deep, normal), and then suspend your breath completely for a few seconds. Start the cycle again. Children should repeat this two or three times, while adults can do three to five. If your child suffers from ADD or ADHD, try one of these breathing techniques with your child kneeling with their buttocks sitting on their heels. There are two points on the butt that connect to the penal gland, which focuses on concentration. Sit in this position for one to two minutes maximum. Types of meditation Self-love – While meditation can help your child love themselves for who they are and not be overcome by fear or frustration, it can also help your child develop emotionally. It can increase your child’s compassion, and create connections with other children through the neural pathways created by regular mindfulness meditation. For self-love meditation, sit comfortably and close your eyes and say to yourself silently, “I am a lovely person. I am a beautiful person. I love myself exactly as I am.” Then, think of a moment that made you feel loved and happy. Imagine your feet are happy and dancing. Imagine your knees are happy and strong. Imagine your heart is happy and full. Allow your whole body to feel the energy of love. Be still, breathe deeply and allow that love to flow all around you. Focus – Does your child love technology and gadgets? We move at such a fast pace today that children have had to speed up as well. Studies have shown that meditation changes the brain patterns and improves focus, which can improve cognitive performance. To improve focus, come into a comfortable position, preferably sitting, and take three deep, slow breaths. Think of yourself as an eagle perched on the edge of a cliff. Gently and gracefully you take off. You are floating in space, relaxed. As you are floating, you are watching the endless blue sky above and the few scattered clouds below. Golden sunlight fills the space. Now, allow yourself to be carried away by the gentle warm wind. You are watching the lush green valleys below and the river flowing through them. The mountain slopes are dotted with villages and their peaks are covered with fresh sparkling snow. You can also see a trail on the mountain, like a thread, disappearing into a dense blue-green forest. In the distance you see the blue ocean and a city spread out on its shore. Stay relaxed and allow the wind to take you wherever it goes. You are just watching and observing everything. Mindful meditation – A UCLA study1 found that Grade 2 and 3 students who practiced mindful meditation for 30 minutes, twice a week for eight weeks, had improved behaviour and scored higher on tests requiring memory, attention and focus than non-meditators. For mindfulness, get comfortable by sitting or laying down. Start with slow, deep breaths and focus on the warmth within, allowing thoughts to pass through your mind. Silently repeat to yourself while relaxing and deep breathing, “My mind is calm. My right arm is relaxed. My mind is calm. My left arm is relaxed. My mind is calm. My right leg is relaxed. My mind is calm. My left leg is relaxed. My mind is calm. My right toes are relaxed. My mind is calm. My left toes are relaxed. My mind is calm. My stomach is soft and warm. My mind is calm. My breathing is deep and slow. My mind is calm. My forehead is smooth and cool. My mind is calm. My eyes are relaxed and soft. My mind is calm. My jaw is relaxed and delicate. My mind is calm. My body is peaceful and relaxed.” Slowly, when you are ready, open your eyes. There are thousands of meditations out there for children and adults so if one doesn’t connect with you, try another! Giving your child the gift of inner peace and calmness when they are stressed or conflicted is a lifetime gift that will prepare them for growing up and entering the even-more-demanding and faster-paced life that awaits them. 1 http://bit.ly/1vLONTm SARA PORTER is a certified Meditation Coach with the Canadian Yoga Alliance and is the owner of Pink Umbrella Retreat Centre outside of Port Elgin. Learn more at www.pinkumbrellarc.ca. * *Now are Re:mind Wellness at remindwellness.ca 

Hello Beautiful Friends!  We are deep into February and could all use a bit of sunshine right? And we couldn’t think of a better person for this month’s Beauty Profile than Sara Porter! For those of you who don’t know, Sara runs Pink Umbrella Retreat Center in Port Elgin. It’s a beautiful space that fosters collaboration, growth and wellness in both personal & professional realms. Through the center you can find access to yoga services, ayurvedic services, massage therapy, pelvic floor physiotherapy, nutrition, reflexology and more. We hope that you enjoy reading about Sara and her Beauty Profile! Take it away Sara…   Sara Porter – Pink Umbrella Retreat Centre I remember the first time I realized I “needed” to change something about my appearance to be beautiful. I was 14 and I had thicker eyebrows, not the pencil thin ones that were popular. After I had that fixed, I started to fixate on my flat chest. Flat is a generous description. I was 16 when I started to buy creams, pills, exercise tools, anything that claimed to help you increase your chest size. I bought bras that were way too big and wore inserts to fill them, (what I called “chicken cutlets”) so it looked like I had breasts.  The more I focused on ways I wasn’t “beautiful” the more I felt like I wasn’t worth anything. I put myself in situations to be treated poorly because I wasn’t beautiful enough to deserve more.  I spent a lot of time and energy on trying to please everyone else so they wouldn’t see all that was wrong with me.  I was 23 when I realized that my beauty wasn’t just a physical thing. (Ironically, that’s also when I decided to go to the next level in my breast growth experiments and I went for augmentation – a decision that truly improved my life.)  Beauty is something we all struggle with. There are days I still wake up, look in the mirror and think “Oh boy, not today.”  But I am comfortable in my body. Even as it changes and evolves with age and lifestyle. And when I think of the most beautiful people I know, yes they are pretty girls on the outside, but they are beautiful, generous, caring, funny and authentic women on the inside. And when I look at them that’s what I see, not their eyebrow shape or their bra size.   It’s how I feel when I’m with them.  It’s how I make them feel when they are with me.  When you are comfortable in your skin, your beauty shines.  I run a safe space for women to grow and connect with who they are on the inside because helping women find their inner beauty is truly rewarding.   I hope you find the beauty within and let it shine out.   Sara Porter – Pink Umbrella Retreat Centre What does beauty mean to you? Beauty is a feeling. It’s the way you feel and make other people feel. Being comfortable and raw in your surroundings and who you are when you are in them. There is nothing more beautiful than feeling good in your rawest state and making others feel good about being in theirs.  When do you feel you are MOST beautiful? I feel MOST beautiful when I am surrounded by people I love and nature, I always feel more beautiful when I am outdoors, even when I’m covered in dirt from gardening.  Can you describe your skincare routine? I have a fairly basic skincare routine. I wash my face once a day at night before bed, after I wash my face with “the Original Makeup Eraser” I apply a moisturizer, currently an Arbonne product R90 night cream and then use coconut oil and beeswax on my face in any areas that may be tired or dry.  In the morning I use the Makeup Eraser again and an Arbonne day cream R90 prior to putting on my BB cream for the day.  What is your daily makeup routine? I try to keep it light. There is something to say for less makeup, let your natural beauty shine! People feel your comfort and self-confidence and feel it themselves. I use a NYX BB Cream to make sure my skin is even but light, nothing heavy on my skin. I use NYX powder, and a MAC blush. Most of the time I keep my eye makeup light, I love a nude and natural eyeshadow colour with Arbonne mascara. If I am getting dressed up I might use a grey/purple eyeshadow to create a smokey look. Otherwise it’s all the same, beauty and comfort that’s what works for me!  What is the ONE product you can’t live without? Melaleuca Leave-In detangling and Smoothing Spray. I started using this product 2 years ago and literally could not live without it. Now full disclosure around the same time I stopped dying my hair regularly and stopped using heat tools i.e. hair dryer, straightener on a regular basis. But ever since I started this hair regime my hair has grown twice as long as it ever has before, it’s thicker, healthier and generally feels better. Miracle spray!  Are there any beauty tips/traditions in your family? My mom always told me that using lipstick takes the natural colour out of my lips – may be an old wives tale but I won’t use lipstick because of it!    Sara Porter – Pink Umbrella Retreat Centre Is there anything else you would like to add? Beauty comes from the inside, of course we reflect how we feel on the outside, but the more you allow yourself to be comfortable in your natural beauty the more you will honestly see and feel beautiful. I have tried just about everything over the years to make myself feel more “beautiful” or “complete” and through all of it, it’s when I feel the best about who I am that I feel the most beautiful. There has to be a healthy balance. Love yourself from the inside out.  Much Love, Sara