Grey Bruce Kids
Meditation for Children
https://greybrucekids.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/GBK_Spring2018_web.pdf
By Sara Porter
At the tender age of 10, I was forced to deal with the traumatic
loss of my eight-year-old brother.
As I look back, 21 years later, I wish I had known a simple set
of coping tools – with meditation being the centrepiece – that
could have helped me heal.
Meditation has been around for thousands of years in many
different forms. Some are religious, many are not, yet all
practices share the same result – a calmer, more focused, loving,
aware, kinder and connected relationship with yourself and
those around you.
I had anxiety, stress and self-esteem issues due to my family’s
traumatic event, but children don’t need trauma to suffer from
these mental health conditions. You might have experienced
some form of stress or feeling of being overwhelmed in your
own childhood and youth, but of course your children will
never believe it! There’s no way you could possibly know how
they feel – things are different for them! And they are partially
right when they give you that comeback – as the world changes,
children are dealing with the same issues we grew up with but in
a more connected, social world, and that brings with it its own
struggles.
Always having to be on, available at the ding of a cell phone,
judged by how many ‘Likes’ they get on social media, what
they look like, and if they are accepted is daily life for our kids.
Social media plays a huge role in kids’ lives now, and they
no longer have nights and weekends away from their friends
and schoolmates to decompress – they go home but remain
connected through their devices.
That’s why it’s important we adults teach them to take time for
themselves to appreciate and love themselves just as they are,
as well as how to handle stressful situations, because as we all
know stress is something that only increases as we grow up.
Natural meditation
Children naturally meditate; they just don’t know it. They’re
often in that meditative state when they’re aware of everything
around them and they just accept things without judgment.
Mindfulness also allows them to appreciate things without a
value attached to them. How many of you loved playing in a
cardboard box as a child? You loved that box because of what
your mind created with it, not because of what it was worth.
Although children use their imaginations less thanks to parents
keeping their schedules full of play dates, organized sports, art
and music classes, and technology, it is important we provide
them with the free time they need to enter this meditative state.
When children play with their food, they pull it, poke it, smell
it, bite it – and usually spit it out. By doing this, they are
becoming aware and absorbing that food in a totally open and
mindful way, without pre-determined beliefs, barriers or biases.
They are making a choice based on everything before them.
Teaching children to focus on their breathing and meditation
process can have long-lasting positive effects, and teaching
children to meditate is easier than you think!
Meditation preparation
If you can set a routine for your child so they can anticipate their
daily meditation, kids will start to look forward to this calming,
relaxation time. Start with five minutes and increase from there,
as your child is ready. At the beginning you may need to do this
with your child, as they often learn best from observing.
Before you meditate:
• Eat a light meal, but don’t do it on a full or empty stomach.
• Find a quiet, comfortably warm place with gentle lights.
• Get comfortable. Sitting is ideal, but you may lie down or
stand. Be cautious lying down at the beginning, this position is
conducive to sleep.
• Try some gentle yoga moves or stretching before beginning to
energize your body.
• Find an open and well-ventilated space.
• Start with deep, slow and calm breathing. This is essential as
deep breathing is a catharsis to the mind. Breath work is also a
meditation technique itself.
Breathing techniques
Breathing techniques are amazing because we don’t actually have
to think about it. Breathing happens without thought, and by
slowing down our breath, and breathing more deeply, we also
slow down our heart rate, calm our nervous system and relax our
muscles. This allows us to enter a calmer state of mind.
‘4-7-8’ breathing – This breathing technique is great in
high-stress situations where you need to remove your child’s
focus from what is upsetting them and return their minds and
bodies to a calm state… to get out of the ‘fight or flight’ zone.
Counting at the same pace, inhale while you count to four, hold
your breath until you get to seven, and exhale when you reach
eight. Children should repeat this two or three times, while three
to five times is good for adults.
Breath of dissolution – Sit comfortably, closing your eyes
and relaxing for a few seconds. Allow your breathing to
get progressively deeper (normal, deep, deepest), then start
breathing progressively shallower (deepest, deep, normal), and
then suspend your breath completely for a few seconds. Start the
cycle again. Children should repeat this two or three times, while
adults can do three to five.
If your child suffers from ADD or ADHD, try one of these
breathing techniques with your child kneeling with their
buttocks sitting on their heels. There are two points on the butt
that connect to the penal gland, which focuses on concentration.
Sit in this position for one to two minutes maximum.
Types of meditation
Self-love – While meditation can help your child love
themselves for who they are and not be overcome by fear or
frustration, it can also help your child develop emotionally. It
can increase your child’s compassion, and create connections
with other children through the neural pathways created by
regular mindfulness meditation. For self-love meditation, sit
comfortably and close your eyes and say to yourself silently, “I
am a lovely person. I am a beautiful person. I love myself exactly
as I am.” Then, think of a moment that made you feel loved and
happy. Imagine your feet are happy and dancing. Imagine your
knees are happy and strong. Imagine your heart is happy and
full. Allow your whole body to feel the energy of love. Be still,
breathe deeply and allow that love to flow all around you.
Focus – Does your child love technology and gadgets? We
move at such a fast pace today that children have had to speed
up as well. Studies have shown that meditation changes the
brain patterns and improves focus, which can improve cognitive
performance. To improve focus, come into a comfortable position, preferably sitting, and take three deep, slow breaths.
Think of yourself as an eagle perched on the edge of a cliff.
Gently and gracefully you take off. You are floating in space,
relaxed. As you are floating, you are watching the endless blue
sky above and the few scattered clouds below. Golden sunlight
fills the space. Now, allow yourself to be carried away by the
gentle warm wind. You are watching the lush green valleys
below and the river flowing through them. The mountain slopes
are dotted with villages and their peaks are covered with fresh
sparkling snow. You can also see a trail on the mountain, like
a thread, disappearing into a dense blue-green forest. In the
distance you see the blue ocean and a city spread out on its
shore. Stay relaxed and allow the wind to take you wherever it
goes. You are just watching and observing everything.
Mindful meditation – A UCLA study1 found that Grade
2 and 3 students who practiced mindful meditation for 30
minutes, twice a week for eight weeks, had improved behaviour
and scored higher on tests requiring memory, attention and
focus than non-meditators. For mindfulness, get comfortable
by sitting or laying down. Start with slow, deep breaths and
focus on the warmth within, allowing thoughts to pass through
your mind. Silently repeat to yourself while relaxing and deep
breathing, “My mind is calm. My right arm is relaxed. My mind
is calm. My left arm is relaxed. My mind is calm. My right leg
is relaxed. My mind is calm. My left leg is relaxed. My mind is
calm. My right toes are relaxed. My mind is calm. My left toes
are relaxed. My mind is calm. My stomach is soft and warm. My
mind is calm. My breathing is deep and slow. My mind is calm.
My forehead is smooth and cool. My mind is calm. My eyes
are relaxed and soft. My mind is calm. My jaw is relaxed and
delicate. My mind is calm. My body is peaceful and relaxed.”
Slowly, when you are ready, open your eyes.
There are thousands of meditations out there for children and
adults so if one doesn’t connect with you, try another!
Giving your child the gift of inner peace and calmness when
they are stressed or conflicted is a lifetime gift that will prepare
them for growing up and entering the even-more-demanding
and faster-paced life that awaits them.
1 http://bit.ly/1vLONTm
SARA PORTER is a certified Meditation Coach with the Canadian Yoga
Alliance and is the owner of Pink Umbrella Retreat Centre outside of
Port Elgin. Learn more at www.pinkumbrellarc.ca. *
*Now are Re:mind Wellness at remindwellness.ca
